When Bride Price Becomes An Obstacle To Getting Married

Bride price or dowry is an old tradition in many parts of the world. Though some thoughts are against it, as they refer to it as a means parents choose to 'sell' their daughters or sons as the case may be. They see it  as a way of extortion and rip off.

Having said that, there are so many tradition where the collection of bride price or dowry is highly supported. Those who support
it say it is the way of placing value on their child before the in-laws. For a lady, the more educated she is, the higher the bride price.

There are many people who love each other but are restrained from getting married because of  high bride price.
So, what happens when bride price becomes an obstacle to marriage?

Are you planning on getting married soon but discouraged by the long list of demands made by your fiancee's parents? Or are you afraid of proposing, because of the same reason?


If you are planning on getting married and the ' list' seem to be the stumbling block, why not take a look at the following ways to see if it can help to break that barrier:

• Putting Resources Together: If your fiancee is working, both of you can do the expenses together.You can  put resources together, which would go a long way to take the burden off you. Of course, you do not need to force her or make it a condition for the marriage. As a lady, you should be willing to assist him financially to settle the list of marriage requirements. In doing so ,nobody needs to know about it. Just between the two of you,you can  assist.

• Persuasion: This goes to the bride- to- be. You can talk to your parents on his behalf. You know your parents better. You would know how to persuade them to reduce the bride price without hurting them or any member of the family. If you can speak to your parents on his behalf, you would also be helping yourself indirectly. What is the use of spending the whole money on bride price or dowry when you would still go to your husband's house to face it.Think about your future too. 

• Complete The List Later: This to me, is the last option. When the two ways stated above seem not to work, let them know you 'll complete the list later. Respectfully, tell them you are not eloping with their daughter, you want to get married to her. Present what you have at the moment and promise to fulfil the rest later after you are married, which you must ensure that you do.

If you have other suggestions, kindly feel free to send them in through the comment section.Someone out there might just need it.