Help! I Am Married To The Wrong Partner.

Marriage is interesting, full of excitement, fun and lots of love, but that is only when you are in it with the right partner.


When you are married to the wrong person, it seems your whole world has fallen apart, everything will come crumbling down your feet. Everything will seem so wrong. Frustration, anger, quarrels, depression, regrets, loneliness and bitterness will become a daily companion. It is really horrible being married to the wrong person. So many married people have been left traumatised by the actions and/or inaction of a wrong partner.

However, I think we need to ask these salient questions before we go on; is it that these partners never showed any sign(s) of becoming who they are now? or did they just change overnight after being married?
I am of the strong opinion that many of those who turn out not to be the ideal partners actually showed  those signs even before we got married to them.
They would've in one way or the other given us that signal either consciously or unconsciously.
 Nevertheless, the purpose of this article is not to  make anyone feel bad, that is, if you are already in that situation.
But it is meant to help those who are about to make that very important decision in their life, those who are about to choose a life partner.We want them  to really look before they leap and listen to the voice of caution.
Before deciding to get married to him/her, you need to ask yourself if you can cope with your partner's attitude, convictions , beliefs and so on for the rest of your life. It is a life time commitment, so you should NEVER marry anyone out of pity or because you don't want to hurt them. No, please do not get married to someone out of "Pity" or fear, you may only end up depriving yourself of happiness in your marriage.

When it comes to marriage, you need to think of yourself first; it's not about being selfish, far from it, you are being cautious because it is your life , your future and when the time comes you'll be solely responsible for the choice (s) you make. At this period, it is no use being carried away by love or sweet talks, you need to weigh things and be sure you can go on, you have to be sure you can cope with him/her for the rest of your life.
If you doubt it even for a second , then I think you should reconsider or ask for more time to think it through, there is no need to be under pressure or allow anyone to pressure you into it.

I've been married for nine years now,  I may not have a lorry load of experiences but I know I have a few, both personal and from other people I have come across.
For that reason, I can authoritatively say there is hardly any marriage, that is 100% perfect except of course in "fairyland", but there are many marriages that are a 100% near perfect .
To have that near perfect marriage full of happiness, peace, love and fulfilment, will depend on you, it depends on the choice or decision you make from the beginning.

A lady got married  six months ago and now she wants to walk away from it all. Her reason? Her husband refuses to go out and work.
The ideal question I guess is, did he quit his job and refuse to get another one?, or is he waiting for a particular job?
According to her, the man was not working at all when she was dating him but she assumed when they get married, he would change and get a job.
Six months down the lane, she is tired of footing the bills all alone and she is now complaining .
The  same happens to so many  of us . We fail to see the signal but because we want to get married, we just go ahead thinking we can cope, until when reality strikes.
You are a man who loves home made food for instance, you fall in love with a lady who says I hate cooking. I prefer outdoor foods, because you are in love you get married to her and then what? you want her to become a cook! We know that wouldn't be too easy .

In conclusion for those who are about to exchange the marital vows, take time to find out if you can cope with him/her or not. It is not worth it, if what you have to do in your marriage is to keep suffering and enduring. Believe me, it's not the best.

If we are already married, well the deed is done. We just have to figure out the best ways to manage and live with our partner and still be happy, yes it is possible. In subsequent articles, we'll be discussing it as a topic: How to cope with a wrong partner in our marriage.
However, if the situation is life threatening, I will advise you get separated from him or her.